Night

 Did he it break something inside of me, break me in a way that I can’t feel like I used to…? Why there are so many of them around me and none of them is that? And If I lock myself, how would I know when it’s him? 

Looking back I just realized that I somehow always missed those good ones and left with nothing. This one message I’d answer, this one date that I could have gone..

It never felt empty for so long before. 

Last time someone saw me crying, saw me vulnerable and heard what I really think was so long. It’s just me, myself and I at dark times, and many others when it’s light.

It’s hard to believe that there was more pain and emotions that I didn’t go through back then - how much more could it hurt? 

I want to be a child again, I don’t want to grow up get old