blame

 Thinking about all the events happening now around me and in the world in general, I couldn't stop feeling disappointment, no motivation to do anything, no motivation to believe anyone or anything. 

I think we should blame books and movies that we read and watched so much,  from early childhood until today. They keep telling us that good will always win against bad, that justice and fairness will prevail. 

They also like to show us these beautiful stories, where 2 people meet, fell in love, hold hands and smile, decide to be together, and live happily ever after. The reality is that no matter how much you love, how much you believe, and want this to work, how much you accept and forgive, it's not that simple. 

And you can always just lie to yourself say "things didn't work out, life goes on" but in fact, things are not just 'not working out', people don't make them work. And you will feel broken and hurt, you feel like someone left a small knife in your stomach that moves and hurts you every time you think. 

The general belief in good and fair doesn't work in reality either. People lie, people hurt and people are evil. They can shoot in peaceful people while trying to protect something they aren’t even sure about. They can steal money from other people and hide behind big political speeches. 

The world for the most of it is broken, unfair, and corrupt, and while knowing it thought my life, every time the same discovery is painful. 

And I feel bad for only writing negative and bad thoughts here - sort of an emotional trashcan where I vent out all the bad, but it helps and everyone has their own way